So What Wednesday

You guys, it's been so long since I did a So What Wednesday post.  But since I am still really obsessed with Shannon over at "Life After I Dew", I decided I need to do this again.

Here's what I'm saying SO WHAT to this week:

• Like Shannon I want to read Kristen Cavallari's new book, "Balancing In Heels".  I'm so bummed we had a birthday party this past Sunday and I missed her being back in Laguna Beach for a book signing.
• Rorie has her 2 year molars coming in, life has pretty much sucked and she's been so miserable I haven't even fought with her to get out of her jammies for two days straight.
• Mamma Dukes will be in town on Friday and part of me just wants to hand off that toddler I mentioned above and say peace out for like a whole day!  That's what grandma's are for right?
• I think I've spent like $200.00 on Easter this year.  Ever since having Rorie I've become obsessed with Easter.  We're having friends over for an Easter Egg hunt so I splurged and made the other three kiddos cute little baskets full of goodies too.
• I decided to put fake succulents in my tin planters.  Honestly I'm just over trying to keep something else alive.  Keeping Rorie alive has been hard enough the last week.
• Last night we lost her Lightning McQueen car and shit hit the fan when it was bed time.  This morning I found him but secretly wanted to keep him hidden because her obsession with it is kind of making me crazy. Unfortunately, she found him.
• I started taking prenatal vitamins again yesterday in the hopes of getting my hair to start growing back faster.

What are you guys saying SO WHAT to this week?

Dear Rorie...{Learning about Goodbyes}

    It's been forever since I did a blog update.  It's been even longer since I wrote an email to Rorie like I said I was going to try and do often.  This week has just been kind of really tough, and it's only Tuesday.  I decided early this morning before I started working to write to Rorie.  I wasn't going to share it on my blog, but I think this one deserves a share.  I have said many goodbyes in my life.  Far too many forever ones than I wish I would have had too, and even more see you laters.  There are a lot of things that I hope to teach Rorie as she grows up.  I hope this is a really good lesson.

Hey kiddo....

I have totally sucked at this whole trying to email you often thing.  I had hopes of really doing it a lot.  One thing you'll learn though is that sometimes there just isn't enough time.

This week I'm learning more about goodbyes.  Some forever goodbyes, and some that aren't forever but hurt none the less.

Forever goodbye.  The ones when you really truly will never get to see someone again.  I've been following a family for a few months.  Joey+Rory.  They are a Country Music Duo that fell in love and had a beautiful little baby girl, Indy.  She's only a few months older than you are.  She also is very special.  She was born with Downs Syndrome.  Even though some may call it a disability, I think to Joey+Rory it was their biggest blessing.  Along the way, Joey, Indy's mommy found out that she had terminal cancer.  The kind that ultimately will take her life.  So over these last few months her daddy, Rory (we love his name right), has been updating everyone on how she is doing and how their family is doing.  Sharing all kinds of pictures of Indy with her momma.  Most recently she turned 2.  It was one of Joey's goals to be here for that.  And she was.  Yesterday though, Rory shared an update that Joey had begun telling everyone goodbye.  That her cancer was just a little too much these days.  She wanted to be able to say goodbye before it was too late.  So Rory brought little Indy to her momma.    {And so… I set our little Indy on Joey’s lap and we all cried with my wife as she told her how much her mama loved her and, “…you be a big girl for your papa… and that mama will be watching over you”.  And then she pulled Indiana up and she kissed her.} Baby girl, it literally crushed me into a thousand pieces.  I pray that is something that I won't ever have to do, for a very long time.  I pray for peace for Joey+Rory, but for Indy too.  She might not ever really understand everything that has happened in these last few months.  What she will have though is her daddy who will always be able to tell her how amazing her momma was.

See you laters.  The other kind of goodbye, but not the forever one.  That still hurts like heck.  This week Friday is going to be our last day with your nanny, Candace.  We're going to be moving and as much as it sucks she can't come with us.  I wish I could just sneak her away with us so that you can still see her every single day.  You have grown to love her so much.  I know she loves you just as much.  But this is the good part about see you laters.  We don't have to say goodbye to her forever.  We will hopefully still get to hang out with her.  She'll still be able to watch you grow up.  We'll invite her to birthday parties.  We'll most definitely go to Disneyland with her still.  But a piece of me is going to just miss her terribly.  So much that mommy has shed a lot of tears about it.  Candace became a part of our family.  She has been there for you in more ways than you will ever know.  I hope that you will always love her as much as I do.  

As you grow up you'll probably experience both of these.  Some will hurt much more than others.  And if they do, honestly as strange as this sounds, its a really good thing because it means that you really truly cared about that person, and that is a good thing.

Love you baby girl.

xoxo

Mommy

Happy Birthday Roarin Rorie

I'm not even sure where to begin.  I didn't think that it was going to hit me as hard as it has that my little baby isn't quite a baby anymore.  This past year has gone by so fast.  It really doesn't even seem possible that my little Roarin Rorie is blowing out 1 birthday candle already.  I'd like to think that the last year has been pretty easy, we made it out with only one bad illness, no major injuries requiring a hospital visit and an over all fairly easy kiddo to handle.  In reality even though we did manage to escape fairly unscathed, it was really hard sometimes.  I honestly wouldn't have had it any other way though.  I wouldn't have changed any of my OCD ways in the beginning with my crazy baby tracking apps and keeping to the schedule.  I wouldn't have changed the fact that somehow I made it a year solely breastfeeding my kiddo.  I wouldn't have changed any of it because we really do have one of the best kids in the whole world.  When she was born I really knew that she was going to need me but I never imagined just how much I needed her.  She really has changed my life in more ways than I can even count.  The amount of just pure love and joy that I feel every single day when I see her is unexplainable.  I don't think that until you finally have a child of your own you really ever understand how it's even possible to love something so much that your heart literally could burst.  She has made me better in so many ways.  She has made me love harder and stronger.  She has made me more aware of everything around me because if something ever happened to her I don't know what I would do.  I love this little girl more than life itself, such a cliche I know, but its for real.  She's brought her daddy and I even closer.  Watching his grow into his daddy role over the last year has truly been amazing to watch.  It was really hard for him at times because of the mommy attachment issues that we had.  I know it killed him some days when he really couldn't do anything to help because of it.  But over the last month or so she has really bonded more with daddy and it's so awesome.  She gets so excited when the door opens at night when he gets home from work now.  It kills me how cute it is.  I could go on and on about the ways that I love her and how awesome it has been to become her mommy but I would never stop.  I'm just so proud that I get to be HER mom.  She really is the best thing ever!

Age 1 Year
Weight 20.6 lbs
Height 31 inches

Clothing Size No real changes here.  She's still mostly in 12 or 18 month stuff when it comes to tops.  And bottoms depending on what they are could be as small as (LOL) 3-6 month.  Yes she has some shorts that are stretchy that are that small and they still totally fit her.  Really thinking now that she's just gonna be tall and skinny.

Sleep We are still doing so good with sleep.  Im dreading the next stage of teething though because I'm sure I'm going to miss these days!  She's fully sleeping through the night still at least 10-11 hours and depending on the day we're varying the naps either 1 or 2 for an hour to almost 2 hours.

Food Final Bottle Strike Tally....{Drumroll Please}   202 days!!  Oh this child. LOL  All in all at the end of the day it is what it is.  She knew how she wanted her milk and she wasn't going to waiver.  In the regular food department though she's done awesome.  She pretty much will eat almost anything that we are eating.  She obviously still has her favorites that are go to's for us when we need something quick.  {String Cheese, Pita and Hummus, any fruit, yogurt}.  She's a big fan of eating cereal like a big girl with mommy in the morning and even wants to drink the milk from the bowl at the end like mommy too.  It's pretty funny and almost like she asks for the bowl when she knows the cereal is gone.  

Activities Whatever she can do while walking around.  She literally is all over the place.  We got her a water table for her birthday and she's loving that.  We also splurged and got a trailer for behind the beach cruisers for her to ride in.  She's loving bike rides. Still has liked going swimming and just loves being outside playing.

Likes The now TWO three dollar big balls from Target.  If she could figure out how to pick them both up at once she would.  I'm convinced at some point this is going to happen.  Loving her teepee a lot again all the sudden.  I find her hiding out in there occasionally.  Loves being outside, to the point where if you ask her if she wants to go outside she walks over to the door and is ready to go.  Loves playing at the park, even more so now that she can wander around a little more easily.

Dislikes Still hates the changing table, she refuses till lay still.  Not a fan of getting something taken away from her.  We're seeing a little more tantrum coming out when it comes to that and telling her no.

Mood 90%happy and hilarious 5%attitude popping up 5%meh lol

Best Moment This Month  For sure when she finally took off and full on started walking.  It was like a switch went off and she went from being pretty timid about it. Her birthday party though in all honesty though was really the best.  She has so many people that love her and came to celebrate with her.  She has no idea how lucky she is.

Looking Forward To Our trip to NY for my family reunion.  I know everyone is so excited to see Rorie.  And for some to meet her for the first time.  We're going to do a birthday cake all over again for her, she's so spoiled.

Roarin Rorie Turns 11 Months Old!!

11 months....Where in the world has the time gone and where is my little baby.  She's growing up so fast and especially in this last month with all the things she's learning developmentally.  She's surprising us everyday with something new.  We've officially taken our first steps.  Still a little unsure to do it by herself a lot but we're working on it now everyday!  She went swimming in the pool for the first time and absolutely loved it.  She's becoming a cuddler finally which mommy loves.  She never used to really want to just come and sit with me and now ever if she's not tired or grumpy she'll come over sometimes just for a cuddle.  Melts my heart.  We're still not clearly saying any words, it's still just a lot of yelling and mumbling but I'm sure she'll say something someday and then she's not going to stop.  Her personality these days is just cracking us up.  I really think she's going to be a pretty funny kid.  She's always laughing or giggling or snarking about something.  I seriously can't believe that our little girl is going to be one next month already.  

Details for the month...

Age 11 Months
Weight 20-21 pounds, not quite sure
Height Not 100% sure here still...maybe 30 inches, she seems like she's gotten super tall

Clothing Size Still really all 12 month stuff with the exception of a couple of 18 month t-shirts from a few of her PJ sets.  The pants don't fit quite yet because the waists are just too big.  I'm finding that even some of her 12 month bottoms seem big again in the waist.   I think all of the new mobility she has is trimming her down a bit.

Sleep All I have to say about this is THANK YOU FERBER!  I bought the book by Dr. Ferber called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" and I think we officially have gotten Roar trained in the sleeping department. We are no longer nursing in the middle of the night, she no longer gets picked up if she wakes up and she pretty much is actually able to put herself back to sleep now without me rushing into her room.  She's sleeping through the night more often now and I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel.  Honestly I think she even wakes up in the morning happier than she used to, which really still was pretty happy if you can believe it.  She's also pretty much down to only one nap a day which kind of came out of no where.  She all the sudden started going to sleep later for our nanny in the mornings. {Late morning rather}. She takes about an hour an a half to two hour nap now sometimes.  If we have to run errands when I'm done working she'll occasionally get a cat nap in the car but other than that really just the one.

Food Bottle strike day 172. {Still funny}  We have been doing some weaning of nursing lately.  Successfully stopping the middle of the night feedings has been great.  Sometimes even during the day now she's really not even caring about her mid day feeding either.  So I'd say we're really only consistently nursing twice a day, {morning and to bed}  She's gotten kind of picky with eating lately, although I guess it just depends on the day.  Sometimes she'll eat anything we put in front of her, sometimes she's immediately tossing it on the ground.  She has become a big fan of having a bowl of cereal in the morning.  She loves Cinnamon Life.  She still loves her string cheese and yogurt and she is still loving blueberries and grapes.  Green beans are fading...they used to be a favorite.  We still have some pouches on hand for road trips and anytime we're going out just incase she really won't eat and she still loves them.  

Activities GO GO GO.  There is no stopping this kid.  She's started semi-walking.  She's definitely taking more steps and will occasionally stand up and take a step by herself.  She loves her new metal car that we got her a couple months back.  She's finally interested in it.  Loves pushing it in circles.  She also still loves car rides in her pink car.  

Likes She still loves her some "Hot Dog Dance" with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in the mornings before her nanny gets here during the week.  She also loves baby yoga now too, no she's not doing real yoga anywhere, but she just loves doing downward dog LOL. She loves swinging at the park and now has found the slide too! She likes climbing....alot.  It's rather frightening how little fear she has.  Loves bath time.  Loves being outside. Loves the wind in her face.  

Dislikes Hates the changing table, she refuses till lay still.  I'm pretty sure I just might ditch it all together, it's getting to be a little dangerous.  Other than that right now, she hasn't really been disliking much.

Mood 90%happy and hilarious 5%attitude popping up 5%meh lol

Best Moment This Month  Definitely when she took her first proper steps. She was so proud of herself!  It happened at an awesome time too when Wesley had gotten back home from a crazy two weeks of work and being away from home.  Was good for him to be here for it. 

Looking Forward To As hard as it is to believe, her birthday next month.  I still can't believe she's going to be one but it's going to be so much fun!!

Roarin Rorie Turns 10 Months

Age 10 Months
Weight If I had to guess maybe 20 lbs now.
Height Not 100% sure but maybe 29.5 inches

Clothing Size Pretty much only 12 month stuff.  Depending on the brand we have a few things that are 12-18 month.  And then there is seriously one pair of 3-6 month pants that I CANNOT part with, they are the simplest little gray knit pants from BabyGap but I honestly cannot find it in me to put them in the "too small" bin yet.  So their pretty much capris on her at this point LOL.

Sleep I don't even want to talk about sleep this past month.  Honestly this has been the worst month of sleep we've had to date.  I think this is the worst sleep I've had even including while I was pregnant.  We've pretty much been guaranteed at least 2-3 nights a week when she wants to just be up partying for 2-3 hours.  She wakes up super cranky, screaming, crying, but literally as soon as your in there she's fine.  I can't even nurse her back to sleep, she literally just wants to stay up and play.  So we usually end up in mommy and daddy's bed watching Kate and Mim Mim.  Yeah because now I know that is on during those hours.  It's so strange, I think in the beginning of this last month it was definitely her teeth but this last two weeks I haven't seen any signs of another tooth and she's not really miserable at all.  It's just plain awful and I'm exhausted.

Food Bottle strike day 142.  It's just funny at this point to keep tallying that number.  She's become a pretty decent eater though.  We do not do anymore jar foods.  We have some pouches on hand for when we go out just incase she refuses to eat something.  She's become a big fan though of Filet Mignon and Halibut.  Yeah she's got a fancy food taste.  She does super good with it though every time we've had it.  She also really likes chicken.  Does pretty good with chicken nuggets.  You'd be surprised at how just by it being a different type of chicken how her attitude about it changes.  She still really loves green beans and sweet potato fries. If I would let her she'd probably eat waffles and yogurt all day.  For a few days she was really into PB&J but she's been striking against that now for the last week.  Depending on the day she loves any kind of fruit.  Other days she's kind of over it.  We introduced adding cinnamon to some apple pieces and she really seemed to like that.  Overall I can't really complain too much about the eating department.  I am realizing though that i just need to figure out a better variety for her.  I've taken away one nursing a day so now we're down to 3 times.  My hope is to get rid of our other middle of the day feeding this month and get down to just a morning and a night by next month and then slowly start to try to night wean by the time she turns one. 

Activities We are just go go go.  She wants to walk so bad but she's still hesitant to let go. She'll do circles around the ottoman all day though.  And she loves pushing around her lion push toy.  She still loves rides in her pink car with our nanny during the day and we're still trying to get out on a walk every night.  She loves finding all of the door stopper springs and playing with them.  She thinks it's hilarious.  She has also found the cupboards as well.  Unfortunately for her the majority have been locked up.  We kept two unlocked and she's gotten into them a few times.  It's pretty funny.

Likes As much as I don't want to admit that she's watched some TV she LOVES Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  Seriously when she sees Mickey on TV she gets the biggest cutest smile ever.  It's adorable.  And of course she LOVES to do the Hot Dog dance at the end of the episode.  It's our thing every morning right before Candace gets here.  So funny. She loves to ride in shopping carts and she has become a recent fan of the laundry baskets.  She's also really loving Ruxin right now.  And the more she keeps "dropping" food when she's eating the more he's going to come around with her too! 

Dislikes Not a fan of being told no sometimes now.  She's realizing more and more what that means and she wants to test the boundaries big time.  She hates sitting still on her changing table.  

Mood She's honestly a pretty happy kid about 90% of the time.  She's getting so much personality now, its super funny.

Best Moment This Month  She's honestly become so much fun all around everyday so it's hard to pick something specific.  But she did get to go on her first ride at Disneyland.  I made sure that it was DUMBO!  It's by far my favorite Disney movie of all time.  So it was pretty fun to do that with her.  We had to obviously do the classical carousel as well!  She seemed to enjoy both of them.  You can tell though that now that she's super mobile, containing her either in the stroller or carrying her all day there is not quite her cup of tea.  

Looking Forward To As much as i hate to say it....taking her birthday pics next month!  Mostly not liking it because it means my baby pretty much won't be a baby anymore, but I know we're going to have a great time taking her pictures.  I've been working so hard on this Lemonade stand for them and her party that I just really hope they turn out.  I also REALLY would like her to clearly say "mama or dada".  We're still not really there yet.